4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Randomize
