Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
