I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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