Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
