awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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