you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
