Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Still dying that you shit outside
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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