But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
