I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
