arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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