I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Just high enough for therapy.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
