Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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