im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
the raccoons are back...
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