I cockslap morals
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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