dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
