hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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