he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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