This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
