i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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