I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
