What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
