grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
