My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
