What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
