we're making bets on your personal life
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize