dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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