I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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