sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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