look no pants
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
