At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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