He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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