Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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