It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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