God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
