Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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