he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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