AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
