I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
