I understand Curling. That high.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
