READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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