porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
