It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
