it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
