i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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