do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
