I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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