There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
