So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize