Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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