You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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