your parents love me but you hate me
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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