i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
