how hairy? two words: wookie tits
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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