Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Randomize
