dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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