Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
