just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
