she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
