And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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