Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Well I just put wine in my tea
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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