My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
